One of the things that’s hard to admit as a student (or even as a grown professional) is that we all struggle from time to time. In a competitive environment, the very concept of asking for help can rouse feelings of helplessness or even shame. It’s something we see often enough among students over the years.
Unfortunately, that mindset prevents students from remembering their own processes which can, in fact, turn into incredible stories. And it’s these stories of struggle which become an important component to your college admissions.
Think of the epic, heroic stories and movies we read and watch. Does the final showdown with the villain end in the blink of an eye, or is there a long storytelling process of tension and uncertainty?
No character is compelling if they’re just making everything look easy. The very process of overcoming difficulty is the very story we all enjoy.
So if a student, out of embarrassment or shame, just goes through their difficulties and pushes away all memories of it, that student is missing out on an important chapter of their high school career.
That’s quite a counter-intuitive idea for most students, who think they have to get by purely on their own successes. Of course, success is good. But consider the difference between a student who just says, “I got an A. I’m just good at math,” and another student who says…
“I remember a time back in 8th grade when I took Geometry. I had a teacher who just recited words from a textbook but never really explained the concepts in any depth. Tests were filled with weird curve-ball questions that made no sense, and we certainly weren’t prepared for it. Nothing was clicking at all. It was such a huge shift from my Algebra I class where I had done really well.
It’s one thing to be told that I can work towards a goal. It’s another to have to do it from a position of losing belief in myself, especially when it seems like everyone around me is doing okay. Just admitting that I needed help was almost mortifying.
On the other hand, when I got help from a tutor, I realized that it wasn’t a problem with me as a person. I was missing specific skills and insights, and my tutor provided that to me. What started on the surface as a problem with math was really becoming a loss of confidence and self-esteem – to the point where I was attacking myself, and not the issues I had with math.
Going through the experience with Geometry made me realize that I can survive a misstep. That was a concept that was theoretical to me until I myself had to stumble. The A that I got was one that was hard-earned, and I think that made the result a lot sweeter than one I would otherwise take for granted.”
What’s the difference between the two? A talent is nice – but a struggle makes for a story. A struggle builds character. From character, any of us can really get to know a person. Remember that your college admissions process is a way to get to know you.
Knowing how to tell your story makes you a compelling person, not just a college candidate or interviewee lost in a sea of faces. But if you don’t take the time to pause and reflect, opting instead to try to forget the pain and struggle, you’re actually missing out what could bet the most important facets of your high school career!